i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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