the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
