hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize