Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
