what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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