i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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