i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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