remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bet he comes in French.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
