Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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