How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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