I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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