Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize