4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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