i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
