This is not my ceiling
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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