Someone shit on the floor
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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