the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
