you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
