We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
