Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
