so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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