party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize