i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
