Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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