I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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