this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
