dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
