did you get engaged???
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize