the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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