Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So vagazzling was a success
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
