oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
