Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
