I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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