need another drink. this is the easiest way
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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