then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
