I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
