Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
