I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
