just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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