it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
