(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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