Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
