he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize