cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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