Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
