Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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