Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize