the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
