SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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