She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
