So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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