OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
