I wannas sexs uuuuu
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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