If you die in college, do you die in real life?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Drunk is not a location!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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