I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
