Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
