I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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