he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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